Apparently dreaming about saying goodbye to people I lost is a thing now. It's been bothering me for a while now, so no surprises that I had to deal with it whilst sleeping. Interesting experience.
Lately I lost many many friends. Most of them I handled very well, because let's just say it's not my first time at rodeo. Although there are some losses which really gave me a hard time. I've been discussing it with people, I tried to let go, I tried to think about them as a nice period of my life that came to an end, but still, something bugs me deep inside that I'm just not able to cure. So then I dream.
Lately I lost many many friends. Most of them I handled very well, because let's just say it's not my first time at rodeo. Although there are some losses which really gave me a hard time. I've been discussing it with people, I tried to let go, I tried to think about them as a nice period of my life that came to an end, but still, something bugs me deep inside that I'm just not able to cure. So then I dream.
Okay, let's make it clear, nobody died. They just decided not to be a part of my life anymore. Free will. I went through those beautiful break-up stages like anger, missing, ignoring, crying, giving the fault to them, etc. At the end of the day it changes nothing; they won't be back. So in my dreams I meet them again. I fight with them. I cry. We cry. They care. We explain. I explain. I say goodbye.
Every relationship harms you if you have no chance for a proper closure. If they leave you without giving a reason. If you can't be honest with each other. If you lose. I lost. I lost these interesting, smart, amazing people because of many reasons. Among those reasons some are my fault. What can I do? I still can't turn back time. I can't shout at them to realize their mistakes. I can't tell them to care. I can't tell them to love me. So I have to give my soul a rest and say thank you for the good times, I will miss you.
Every relationship harms you if you have no chance for a proper closure. If they leave you without giving a reason. If you can't be honest with each other. If you lose. I lost. I lost these interesting, smart, amazing people because of many reasons. Among those reasons some are my fault. What can I do? I still can't turn back time. I can't shout at them to realize their mistakes. I can't tell them to care. I can't tell them to love me. So I have to give my soul a rest and say thank you for the good times, I will miss you.
Goodbye.
